"Ain't nuthin' we ain't dun before"

This whole situation with Aja... im not sure or not whether it's sad that i've actually become accustomed to such situations... But it's really something that i've been through before; going on 'dates' and letting women into my life that are essentially unavailable... Each time they've come and shared something with me... Petco-Paige, Ray Charles, Kelsie (both Kelsie from Atlanta and the one who was the half sister of Kaleena), Kaycee, Megan Brown... I'm sure i'm missing someone...

I'm just gonna use the situation with Petco-Paige to illustrate what happens

I met Paige in the Petco across the street from IHOP on some random trip to bend with Sean motha fucking Brown and Markus Cater. She did the typical store clerk thing, asked us if we had any questions about stuff, and since i thought she was cute i decided to flirt with her. I told her that the only question i had was how many people came in and tried to eat the dog biscuts that looked like cookies. That question lead to more questions until, finally on my way out, i asked the final question: can i have your number? She wrote it bashfully on a reciept, handed it to me, and i left.
A few days later i called her and asked if she would like to hang out. She agreed, but then later that night confided to me that she wasn't actually looking for a boyfriend; she was already in a complicated situation, and was just looking for another friend. Nonetheless i hung out with her a couple days later.
We went on a walk around Drake Park (fuck, planning dates is so much easier in Bend) after meeting in Bellatazza. On the walk i asked her about her "situation." Apparently the boy she was in love with is in prison for statutory rape. Meanwhile, a close friend of hers really likes her, and she was having what my class would call "an issue of faith."
I'm pretty sure we hung out twice, though the past is kindof like a watercolor that got juice spilled on it for me... And maybe had the situation been different we would have hung out more than that. Either way i ended up adding her on my myspace.
From there we drifted apart and pretty soon stopped talking. I still checked up on her via myspace surveys (those things are a stalker's best friend). It was really weird in some ways... She ended up getting together with her close friend, and she's very happy with him. After seeing her posts had that happy tone in them for a few months i finally deleted her from my friends list. Haha, the irony is that i'm listening to Nas's "If i ruled the world" right now, and if i ruled the world i would keep Paige together with Timmy.
I'm not sure what it is that i feel when i see all these people and their lives... Ray Charles is still working at Townsheds (i think), and when i saw her i smiled; she smiled back. Megan didn't make it to Nationals, but she's going to college in Boston... Pretty good for a girl from Madras...

It really is weird to see all of these girls who knew me doing okay... It's also even more weird to see that in some of the people that i'm with right now... Knowing that in 6 months we won't talk... maybe give them a casual wave, but nothing more really...

Maybe that was what weirded me out so much on my outing with Aja... I kept looking at her and thinking "Damn, you are such a beautiful woman, we have so much to share, and you could mean so much to me. But you won't. In the end (probly about 3 weeks) I will know far much more about you than you will about me, and you will forget me."

Idk, maybe i'll just tell her that next time i hang out with her... It's not exactly like i have anything to lose really...

It's definitely nights like this that i feel much like Ben Gibbard does...